What Everybody Ought to Know About Men’s Fashion
Wives and girlfriends up and down the country would probably quip that it’s so hard to cajole a man to going into a clothes shop at all, that the chance of them making a fashion faux pas is minimal.
But we do, oh boy do we do. But before we get onto the what, where’s and how’s – let us here at the Mbop Megashop set one thing straight: We – men - do actually like going shopping, just generally not with women!
In fact some men hate shopping with women so much, they’d happily forgo shopping at all, even on their own, just in case they inadvertently find their wife, girlfriend, sister or mother tagging along.
Why? Well there’s a catalogue of reasons really, which when combined can turn a leisurely Sunday afternoon stroll into town into a shouting match in the middle of the lingerie section of a high-end department store followed by a car journey home enveloped in a deathly silence, punctuated by the occasional over–the-top sigh and mumbles of “well I didn’t ask your opinion anyway”.
Put simply though, it’s because women don’t generally see shopping as a means to an end like men, they’d happily try on dress after dress knowing full well they have no intention of buying any of them as the hours ticks by, simply for the pleasure of knowing they can.
Men on the other hand tend to scope out what they’re after in the days before undertaking a shopping trip then swoop in, try it on (if absolutely necessary) and then swoop out – job done, shopping trip over.
So when you combine the two - particularly on a hot summer’s day when there’s a major sporting event they’d rather be sat in front of – you can see why a man’s fuse maybe a little shorter than usual.
The irony of course is though, that some of the fashion bloopers men do make would never have come to pass had a woman been there at the point of purchase.
So here’s six picks that no men under any circumstances should don:
Shirts with collars that don’t match the rest of the shirt: This is a massive no-no. For some reason ex-Newcastle United striker Alan Shearer is a big fan of this. It looks terrible, like some relic from Black Wednesday in the City in the 1980s, particularly when coupled with a pair of gaudy cuff-links. Del Boy wore those shirts in Only Fools And Horses, enough said.
Men over the age of 16 wearing sunglasses with coloured (or even worse day-glo frames): You’ve got to blame the Klaxons and the rest of the long abandoned nu-rave bandwagon for this. Just stick to a classic pair of Ray Ban’s and leave it at that – dressing above your age has rarely been more embarrassing.
Jeans which hang anyway other than around the waist: I don’t care if Clueless is your favourite film, this looks bad, bad, bad. Nobody wants to see 80 per cent of your grundies involuntarily, particularly when they’re often as tatty as the jeans which should be covering them. Like driving, it’s always advisable to belt up properly.
Patterned shirts with patterned ties: This is another golden rule which shouldn’t be broken. By all means sport a colourful tie with a splash of detail on it, but only over a plain shirt and vice versa. Remember the only place for stars and stripes simultaneously is on Uncle Sam’s flag.
Sandals and socks: I don’t care if your feet are cold; this has always looked ridiculous and won’t ever change. Sandals were invented to aerate the feet, so let them. If you think your trotters will be cold just wear trainers. Simples.
Band T-shirts when you’re not a fan of the band: No although there’s nothing wrong sartorial with this, there most certainly is ethically. Would you wear the strip of a football team you didn’t support? No, well don’t do it with a band tee either then. I don’t care if you think they’re cool, simply by you wearing it when you can’t even name the band members or their albums makes you not so. Got a favourite band? Wear their T-shirt instead and stand proud.
